The Little Black Book for Girlz: A Book on Healthy Sexuality - Softcover

St. Stephen's Community House is a community-based social service agency in Toronto that assists more than 23,000 people each year. Its self published edition on which this book is based has been used by educators and social workers across North America.

Preface

No matter what age we are, many of us prefer to speak to our peers about experiences we are going through, especially around issues of sex and sexuality. Many young women have expressed to us that there is a lack of material they can relate to on sexuality and relationships. They want something not only aimed at them, but also created by them. Out of this frustration came The Little Black Book for Girlz. The book was created by young women who hung out at the St. Stephen's Community House Youth Arcade Drop-In, in downtown Toronto. As a group we had many discussions about all kinds of different issues. These discussions were very honest and non-judgmental, and the girls wanted sex ed. material that was equally positive and empowering to them. As a group we decided to write our own book that would encourage other young women to learn more about their bodies, their relationship, and their lives.

The Youth Arcade was an ideal environment for this project. It is a space where youth can meet, share experiences, identify problems, and support each other. It is also a place where they are challenged to think critically about the world around them. By having this space, the girls were able to take responsibility for the creation of the book and able to honestly talk and write about their lives.

At the time, and in such a supportive atmosphere, we felt very brave and powerful. We thought, "A book? No problem!" Well it turned out to be a little harder than we expected. Sex and relationships are HUGE subjects. To keep the book a manageable size, we had to cut out entire chapters on issues like body image, childhood sexual abuse, media, and religion. At times many of the writers were frustrated by the process and had other issues they were dealing at home and school. It took two years and constant revisions with a number of youth and community professionals, including social workers and doctors, to edit and review it... and here we are today.

We're happy to report that the young women involved with The Little Black Book have become local superstars for their work on the project. Their names have popped up on television, on radio, and in magazines, all praising the girls for their honesty, their edge, and their creative spirit.

At St. Stephen's Community House we feel that material directed at youth is most effective when written by youth. Our hope is that this book offers information without judgment -- without making girls feel bad about who they are and the decisions they make. We want our readers to feel intrigued, better educated, more capable of looking after themselves, and generally better able to make safe and fulfilling decisions regarding sex and reiationships. To help in all this, we have included a resource guide and a glossary at the back of the book. Reading about all these issues may bring up questions that are not answered in The Little Black Book, so please check out the websites and hotlines that are listed if you require additional information. We hope you enjoy the book.

Sincerely,
Bridget Sinclair, Project Coordinator and Facilitator
Marion Merraro, Manager, Youth Services
St. Stephen's Community House

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Introduction

Alright, you chiquitas. Welcome to THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK.

In your very two hands, you hold a copy of a publication created especially for and by young women. It's a special book all about healthy sexuality and we're super proud of it. Why? because this book was put together by a diverse group of teenage girls who have questions (and sometimes answers) about what and why and who we are as young women.

This book is just full of great stuff. Inside you'll find stories of personal experiences, poetry, important information, and resources all written and put together by young women aged 14 to 18. We look at relationships, periods, sex, birth control, pregnancy, STIs and AIDs, abortion, and sexual assault, Most of the authors of this book gained a lot of their knowledge from being "Arcade kids" (hanging out at the youth drop-in program at St. Stephen's Community House). And we interviewed many experts around Toronto to get straight facts about the stuff we chiquitas have to deal with.

I think young women in Toronto are among the luckiest creatures on this planet. We live in an amazing city, in a culture that allows us to be who and what we want. It can be hard to know what to do with these freedoms, and it's a drag dealing with any limitations. Many times we aren't given the respect that we deserve. Sometimes we are asked to be silent.

We of THE LITTLE BLACK ROOK FOR GIRLZ group realize that all women everywhere deserve a voice. This collective of girls understands the importance of voicing our opinions and sharing experiences and stories. Adults can tell us what they think we're dealing with, but can they KNOW? We felt it was important for young women to have a book dedicated to what we think matters. Wherever you are in your life, there's one fundamental thing that links us all:

We are teenage girls and we kick ass!

So please read on. Enjoy. Ask. Question. Talk to your friends, families, and lovers. It is super important to understand who and what you are and where you can go. And if you're ever stuck, please feet free to contact us or any of the organizations listed at the back of this book.

Signing off.
Chi Nquyen