When Love Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships - Softcover

Contrary to popular opinion, women who live with abuse are not helpless, weak or confused. In fact, they invariably demonstrate great strength and wisdom as they cope with abuse. Friends, family and even professionals all too often subtly blame the victim and suggest simple and naïve solutions. When Love Hurts takes a different approach. And it's an approach that works. The authors have helped hundreds of women discover their own courage and insight. Their premise is simple: when it comes to their own lives, women themselves are the experts.

The book is unique in the field because it doesn't assume that a woman must leave an abusive relationship. While acknowledging that leaving may be best for many women, it leaves the decision firmly in the hands of women themselves. In a field dominated by books and experts that tell women what to do, When Love Hurts tells women what they're already doing right and helps them learn to trust their own judgment.

When Love Hurts is also unique because it makes cutting-edge research and counseling techniques accessible to ordinary readers. Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis have a combined 21 years of experience working with women who have experienced abuse. In When Love Hurts, they bring together ground-breaking research and poignant personal accounts to help women reflect on their experiences from a new perspective. They help women unlock their own wisdom and see the strength and courage they already have.

Jill Cory is the Domestic Violence Response Coordinator at Women's Hospital in Vancouver, B.C. She pioneered a "women-centered" approach in her research and work with women. Karen is herself a survivor of abuse and she is the Director of Connections, an agency which provides individual and group counseling for women who have experienced abuse.

More than anything, women who live with abuse need to know that they are not alone, that they aren't weak or crazy, and they don't cause the abuse. They are already doing a great deal to protect themselves and their children. While they cannot change their partners' behaviour, they can develop confidence in their own wisdom and courage, and discover new hope for the future. When Love Hurts will help them do that.

We wanted to write the book for all the women who don't have access to a group counseling program like ours. Waiting lists for counseling and support groups are so long, many of them have been closed. And we know that thousands of women are living not only with abuse, but also with the isolation and shame that go with it. We wanted to make the life-changing work we do in groups available to all those women.