Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose: And Hundreds of Offbeat Uses for Brand-Name Products - Softcover

But First, A Word from Our SponsorWhen I was an advertising copywriter at J. Walter Thompson in New York, I was invited to attend a very strange brainstorming session. Eight of us from different departments in the agency were gathered together in a conference room and asked to generate a list of alternative uses for Nestea Iced Tea Mix that could be advertised to increase sales. Until that meeting, I had no idea that bathing in Nestea soothed sunburn pain. Nestea never advertised that fact -- unless, of course, that was the subliminal message in "Take the Nestea plunge." That meeting changed my life forever.

While I've never bathed in Nestea, I realized that there are hundreds of alternative uses for well-known products kept secret from the American public. I was determined to unearth this cache of withheld information. So, I quit my job and spent the next ten years on a quest to uncover the hundreds of strange and mysterious uses for brand-name products like Coca-Col! a, Vaseline, and WD-40. I learned some startling truths. Tang cleans toilet bowls. Jif peanut butter doubles as axle grease. Efferdent cleans diamonds.

SPAM luncheon meat works as furniture polish. But a slew of unanswered questions preyed on my conscience. How did Worcestershire sauce get its name? Who developed Silly Putty? How was the Ziploc Storage Bag invented? And, above all, is America ready to know? This book is the culmination of my obsessive journey into the bowels of American know-how. I hope you'll agree it was well worth the trip.

"For everyone who made a resolution to keep the house cleaner this year, here's a book for you: 'Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose.' This is an entertaining book packed with all sorts of interesting household tips and facts, many of which can save you some time and money." -- Gwen Schoen, Sacramento Bee, January 28, 1996

"Just glancing through this remarkable book persuades the most skeptical that some American products are truly as remarkable as Leonardo DaVinci in their versatility... This is a book that is not only useful but shows the extraordinary care taken by the author to ensure accuracy. You can tell he tried the product uses himself. For instance he suggests that while using Jif peanut butter for shaving it is preferable not to do it with Jif Extra Crunchy. Hey, is this a user-friendly book or what?" -- Larry Maddry, Virginian-Pilot, February 26, 1996

"This modern-day Heloise roadtests 30 products and comes up with several hundred new uses. His tips: clean a toilet with Efferdent or Coca-Cola, polish furniture with Spam (it gives a nice smell) and remove stubborn stains with vinegar -- it's economical and environmentally friendly."(The New York Times, December 21, 1995

"[Joey Green] is the voice of household lore. He knows hundreds of brand-name products' innermost secret uses, such as fertilizing your lawn with Listerine, catching trout with Vaseline, aligning and testing CAT scanners with Silly Putty or substituting Jif peanut butter for axle grease. Not only does he know the secrets, he is not afraid to publish them in a book called 'Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose,' a project ten years in the making." -- Chad Fasca, Fort Wayne Journal Gazette, February 15, 1996

Over 30 brand name products are profiled in a quirky title which tells how to use a variety of common household agents to perform unusual tasks. From repulsing deer with Ivory soap to salt to repel fleas, this packs in some real surprises. -- Midwest Book Review